Monday, October 01, 2012

See the Grace---See the Glory!

Luke 9:32 "But Peter and those with him were heavy with sleep; and when they were fully awake, they saw His glory"

I can still remember it like it was only a day ago. It was towards the end of 2008. I had been a believer for over nineteen years when I woke-up and saw the glory of God.

Up until this point of my journey with God, life was a struggle. I believed that if I had all my affairs in order, as the bible seems to teach us to do, I would discover a better life.

Each morning was routine. I would start my day in the shower, confessing all of my sins and asking for forgiveness. I would even ask forgiveness for the sins I was not aware of. I would declare the promises of God and the blood of Christ over all my family, possessions, and affairs. I even memorized Psalm 91. On my half-hour drive to work, I would continue with my confessions of Scripture. I would speak the words of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I memorized this in the Amplified Bible Version. One might think I had the formula of success.

On the contrary---for nineteen years most of my life was not the blessed life I had been expecting. My family had been torn apart. I had one child living on the streets with drug issues. I had another child who was crippled from a car accident that also took the life of my first wife. My understanding of Scripture led me to believe that someday I would experience a better life---I was not experiencing it. I continued with my morning routine of making myself right before God in hopes of receiving a reward for my faithfulness.

Eventually I realized, confessing my sins every morning had no positive results. The more I confessed, the more I realized I could not be the perfect churchgoer, so I gave up on the church, and gave up on trying.

I kept up with my prayer rituals but by now, my conversations with God had become somewhat informal. I realized I could never be perfect and just decided that God would have to accept me as I was. When I gave up on all the work that made me weary, I started to hear the voice of God.

Then I had a revelation of grace.

It was a cooler day with an almost perfect blue sky. I went outside to have a cigarette and looked up. I pondered the vastness of infinite space. God's creations are so amazing. Then it hit me like a powerful blow. The creator of all this had become my personal friend. I did not deserve His friendship, I knew that, but He was so real to me now.

The Scripture at the top of this post describes my situation. It has an incredible hidden message. The name Peter means, "A piece of the rock" (Strong's Number G4074*). The Ten Commandments were written on pieces of rock, so the name Peter signifies the law. Now the verse reads, "But Peter [the law] and those with him were heavy with sleep; and when they were fully awake, they saw His [God's] glory."

This was my story. I tried to follow the law (Peter) and it made me heavy with weariness. Then, one day, after I gave up on trying, I woke up and saw the glory. I had put so much effort into being right with God, instead of receiving His grace. I have learned that only God can make me right.

My daughter, who was messed up on drugs, is off the streets and free from the addictions that put her there. My son, who they felt would be crippled for life, has the most beautiful wife and child. He also enjoys many of the same things he used to. I am now plugged in to a good church and even have the world's most incredible wife.

I do not focus on trying anymore; God takes care of all my affairs. I focus on Him. He loved me when I was a sinner, He loved me when I continued to sin, and He loves me now! He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Be blessed!

* Strong’s Greek and Hebrew Dictionary, copyright 1890 by JAMES STRONG, MADISON, NJ.

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